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Spirituality and the Australian Experience Patty Fawkner sgs How are the very different spiritualities of people like myself and you and John Howard and Dawn Fraser and Alan Jones and Missy Higgins similarly influenced because we are all Australians and live on this land? How does our Australian experience lead us into the mystery and the More of life?There are so many ways into this topic. I’d love to explore the stories and myths that shape us and our spirituality: There is the myth, the lie, of terra nullius, the story of a suicidal jolly swagman, and the ANZAC myth for starters. Then I’d love to explore the shadow side of our national psyche which is our ‘invasion anxiety’, our fear of the other – our fear of the original inhabitants of our land, our fear of the waves of migrants, our fear of the ‘reds under the bed’, our fear of boat people who were said to throw their children overboard, and now our fear of the Muslim other. But I won’t. I’d like to approach the topic by focussing on the theme of the Australian landscape. I’d like to explore the wonderful symbol of the ocean as a symbol of life, mystery and God. I’d love to explore the role the bush has played in our national psyche and the wonderful paschal mystery symbol of regeneration that comes after bush fire. But I won’t. What I will talk about is the interior landscape, particularly the desert as a metaphor or symbol for our inner spiritual landscape.
On Pentecost Sunday in 1606, that’s exactly 400 years ago, the Portuguese explorer, Pedro Fernandez de Quirós, first named our land as “Austriala (sic) del Espiritu Santo”, The Great South Land of the Holy Spirit. I don’t think the first settlers perceived this convict dumping ground as sacred and imbued with the Spirit of God. They did not share the experience of the original inhabitants who for countless generations have intimately known the sacredness of this land. We cannot appropriate Indigenous people’s experience, but we can learn from them how to appreciate the holiness of our land, and how to reconnect to the mystery of creation, and thus the Mystery who is Creator.It has taken white Australians a long time to see what is before our eyes in our land. John Olsen in an article in a recent The Good Weekend , said, “We are a new people in an old country, and we have a lot of looking to do. We must begin to look at the landscape not just as real estate, but as a place of enlightenment and magic.” The first white artists looked at the country with English eyes and subsequently painted with English colours what they thought the land should be rather than what it was. Instead of lush, neatly ordered English foliage, we have, what one writer describes as:the vastness, the ‘pitiless blue sky’, the startling atmosphere, the silence, almost brooding, the untidiness of the bush, the colours in sharp sunlight, the permeating gold and pervading blue.
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Crossing the Desert:
Learning to Let Go, See Clearly and Live Simply
In all my desert experiences the words of Hosea ring true: “I am going to lure her into the wilderness and speak to her heart” (Hosea 2:16)
When I first went to Uluru I was struggling with some intense personal issues and the shifting sand dunes around the Rock seemed a good image for my life. Two things happened for me that helped me see my reality in a new way. I went up in a light plane and was fascinated by the beauty and pattern of the shifting sand dunes which you couldn’t appreciate at ground level. Perhaps there was some order and beauty in a life that seemed somewhat chaotic. The next day we climbed parts of Kata Juta – the Olgas. I can remember being pretty fit at the time, (this was 20 years ago!) and where my companions were struggling and breathless, I strode out, exhilarating in the strength and sturdiness of the rock underneath me. Words from the psalm and the old folk hymn came to me as I climbed, “My God is a fortress and a rock”. I had a sense that God was the rock, the foundation, the security beneath me, the ground of my being, no matter the instability and uncertainty I felt. For the first time in my life, the image of God as a rock appealed. It continues to sustain me. It is easy to be romantic about the land – it is alluring, but also deeply alienating. I got altitude sickness on Kilimanjaro, with severe nausea and chest pains. I thought I was going to die in that alpine desert, so far from family and loved ones. There was nothing romantic in that experience. The silence and emptiness of the interior of our continent is alienating. In the same way our inner emptiness and loneliness feels hostile and alien. Karl Rahner when speaking about our interior landscape says: “Don’t be shocked at the loneliness and desertedness of your inner prison, which seems to be filled only with powerlessness and hopelessness, with tiredness and emptiness! Don’t be shocked!” We shouldn’t be shocked when we feel as empty and barren as the hostile spinifex-laden, parched desert. We are naturally tempted to avoid loneliness and emptiness, by plunging ourselves into busyness and distraction – with whatever is our particular poison: work, alcohol and drugs, food, computer games, or a frenetic social life. We hope to distract ourselves from our own inner despair. And when we feel empty inside, the temptation is to believe that there isn’t any God, or if there is, that God doesn’t care. When we feel, and feel we must at different times, that there isn’t a God, perhaps we’re being invited to let go of the God we imagined God to be. Perhaps we don’t have a big enough God. We must, says Anthony de Mello, forever “empty out our teacup God”. My keenest experience of emptiness was the death of my father when I was 30. Naively, incredibly naively, I expected my faith to shield me from the experience of numbness, loss and grief. It didn’t and I was shocked. I felt affronted by the pious words that seemed to come so easily from the lips of well-meaning comforters. God was nowhere to be found. Many months later I was reflecting on the Gospel story of Mary Magdalene coming to the empty tomb. In her emptiness and despair Mary hears a voice call her by name. It is Jesus. Something profound happened to me on that weekend. Somehow I found God in the emptiness. It wasn’t a warm, fuzzy experience, and even then I didn’t really have a felt sense of the presence of God. But it was a deeper knowing – somehow – that God was with me, calling me within the emptiness. Rahner says that God is never as we imagine God to be. His words are tough: “The God of earthly security, the God of salvation from life’s disappointments, the God of life insurance, the God who takes care so that children never cry and that justice marches upon the earth, the God who transforms earth’s laments, the God who doesn’t let human love end up in disappointment” – that God doesn’t exist. The God who I wanted to shield me from human grief does not exist. I had to empty out my cosy image of God and in the emptiness find a more real God. Spiritual writer, Ron Rolheiser says that “What we feel in emptiness is not the death of God but rather the space within which God can be born. What loneliness and despair deprive us of is not God, but our illusions about God.” The Australian desert landscape reminds me that I’m called to recognise God in the silence, in the loneliness, in the frustration, the disappointment and emptiness of my life. The God I find in my loneliness and emptiness is the real God, the infinite, unnameable, wild God, a God who is ever ancient, but always new. I find a God that I can’t capture in words, but a God who is mirrored in the majesty and beauty of my land. It’s a God I can neither tame nor domesticate, but a God who, like the parched land, thirsts for me, waiting for me to want God and to come to God.I will conclude with a prayer given to me by Joan Hendricks, an indigenous friend of mine.God of our dreams and visions, in the landscape of our life together, whether it be fertile or like the earth after drought – we pray that you will raise us up as flowers of blossoming life, or single green leaves in the centre of our barrenness.If the eyes of our souls see only what we expect to see – give us new delight in the unexpected – the flashes of colour of hidden birds, a sound of song in a silence – or a sound of silence in the middle of our humming life – into which the brave word will fall in hope and grace. May you the God of dreams and visions, enable us to dream creatively – and hear the dreaming of others. Loving God bless us in the time that lies ahead, and grant us our Dreaming. Amen. Sister Patricia Fawkner Patty Fawkner was born and reared in Sydney’s Western Suburbs and has been a member of the Good Samaritan Sisters for over thirty years. Patty’s studies have been in education, theology and pastoral ministry and her ministries have been diverse. She has worked as a teacher, principal, Religious Education consultant, media officer and adult educator. Her most recent appointment was as the Director of Uniya, the Jesuit Social Justice Centre. As an educator and communicator, Patty is committed to integrating faith and life by helping make the riches of the Catholic Christian tradition – both the spiritual and justice tradition – accessible to the women and men of our time. In 2004 Patty began a three-year appointment on the Commission of Australian Catholic Women. Patty’s other interests include theatre and film, current affairs and politics, hiking (she climbed Mt Kilimanjaro in 2000), and women’s issues. |
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